First of all: I am so glad you’re here.
You know that feeling of always needing to be one step ahead? Constantly running your mind over what you need to do in order to get your life to run the course you planned, only to find everything turned upside down again and again, leaving you feeling stressed, powerless and just plain ‘blah’?
And even in those rare cases that everything does go according to plan, you find yourself already caught up in achieving the next thing, wondering why you can’t simply enjoy this moment that you thought would be everything you wanted?
Well sister, I have been there. Matter of fact, most of us have.
Recently I found that it isn’t about doing anything, it’s about being. Being more in tune with your inner voice, more aware of the reality you create, and more connected to your purpose. And that the way to get there is actually by creating space for the body and the soul to work in balance with the mind, instead of letting your head take the lead. This is the way of holistic wellbeing.
Now, that may sound like something you don’t have time and energy for in your already crammed schedule. You simply can’t afford to check out of this all-important orchestration of the mind because that’s what is holding your life together, right? I know I used to feel that way. Like living a blissful life was for the rich and carefree few. But I discovered I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Once I dialed back on trying to forcibly control everything and allowed for some space to be there, things started taking care of themselves. Yes, REALLY. It turned out my meddling wasn’t so crucial after all… And surprisingly, the outcome often was more magical than I had ever thought possible.
I started listening, nourishing and allowing myself to be guided by what feels right, instead of letting my fears determine the steps that I take. Slowly but surely I reclaimed my power, understanding that it lies within and that self-love is the fuel that makes my light burn bright.
And while it may seem like that’s way out of your reach, I am here to tell you that it’s not. A huge part of healing your way back to your radiant self is accepting that you do have the power. It’s all in there. You just need the right tools to guide you on the path. And for that, my beautiful friend, you’ve come to the right place.
I have set up this blog to share my journey with you, exploring this holistic playground of nourishing mind, body, and soul, that can be as exciting as it is challenging. As I am guided and inspired on my path by many others who share their own, I aspire to contribute to your spirit driven explorations by sharing mine. Because I believe that we are all capable of greatness and that the world needs you to shine your light.
In this sacred online space, you’ll find heart-opening practices, bite-size pieces of wisdom, encouraging how-to guides, inspiring resources, first-hand experience reports, nourishing recipes, and many more beautiful tools to help you rekindle that fire inside and discover more of the awe-inspiring purpose that you were given for this life.
So if you’re ready to ditch the stress and overwhelm and start loving the heck out of yourself; sign up to join the tribe and be sure to stick around. We’re gonna have some serious fun!
Now, what do you say? Sounds good? I for one am all in.
Who am I?
So let’s get to know each other a little better. Here’s what I am all about:
#prettyintense: If I were to describe in a font how I experience life, it’d be bold, italic, underscored and in CAPS LOCK. Yep, that’s me. Some call it being a highly sensitive person, but I’d rather describe it as living life with the volume cranked up full throttle (while privately enjoying some perfectly ridiculous dance moves, mind you).
#immerser: I tend to immerse myself in every single thing life presents me with. This is simultaneously the best thing ever and my greatest pitfall. By putting my heart and soul into every action I also risk to get swept away by challenging events and overpowering circumstances, that can cause me to completely lose my balance. Recently I have come to realize the importance immersing myself in ME. Turning inside to witness exactly what is there at that precise moment, whatever it may be. Once I tuned into the frequency of my inner wisdom, I discovered that there is a whole new world to explore from there.
#yogaddict: While yoga has been a part of my life for almost 10 years now, it wasn’t until last year that it found a steady place in my daily schedule and started to transform my life in unimaginable ways. Lining up my frame and my breath helps me to line up my priorities. I love to play around with different styles of yoga, according to what I feel most drawn to each day. And an occasional Friday evening of kirtan is my kind of night out.
#dhamma: In 2014 I came in contact with the technique of Vipassana meditation and since my third 10-day course in November 2016 it has found its way into my daily routine. Living the life of dhamma, in line with the law of nature, has brought me so much wisdom and continues to benefit me in the most profound ways. It shows me how every moment of my day is an opportunity to practice the art of living. An invaluable teaching that I am most grateful to have received.
#plantpower: Plants and veggies are my go-to’s. I believe in their all-round nourishing and healing qualities and aim to integrate them into my life in as many ways as possible. They keep me company in my apartment, brighten up my vegan dishes and help me to care for my body inside and out.
#self-love: This is a tough cookie and a continuous work-in-progress. I believe that, first and foremost, we are worthy of our own love. There is a divine and infinitely beautiful essence in every single one of us. Yes, I am talking to you too! There is nothing to be fixed. We’re all human, we’re all perfectly flawed. The universe is waiting for us to start loving ourselves to pieces and go share our much-needed light.
#gratitude: ‘Gratitude is the open door to abundance’. Yogi Bhajan said that, and I believe he was right. Being thankful for what already is, instead of always focusing on what is lacking, brings so much contentedness into our lives. It’s only then that we are able to receive freely and fully. And when we stop yearning, we find that everything we need in this moment is already inside of us.
Keen to know what got me here? Let me tell you about my journey.
Apart from the many things that make my heart sing, there has always been this one underlying all-consuming love that I have been unconsciously devoting myself to in any and every aspect of my life, which is: feeling like I’m in control.
Unfortunately, this particular one turned out to be a toxic love, playing a relentless game of hard-to-get… I was always at the brink of grasping it. Just when I thought I finally had the reigns, something would turn my plans upside down again. After the following initial devastation and self-pity, my infatuation with control would swiftly pull me back in again and make me pursue it even harder.
Somehow this need to orchestrate my life had become so natural to me that I was not even aware I had any other option. While I was growing up, my family endured years of hardship that ended up draining the joy and lightness from our home, and as a consequence, also from me. What kept me going was the determination to one day be in a better place, to create for myself what I thought those circumstances prevented me from having.
And so I did. At age 26, I found myself living the picture perfect life that I had always imagined would bring me my sought-after happiness. Finally, I had ticked all the boxes:
- studied abroad in the wonderful city of Rome;
- gotten my masters degree in law;
- acquired a close-knit group of wonderful friends;
- traveled the world for 14 months with the most amazing man I ever met;
- kick-started my promising career as a lawyer;
- rented a spacious and wonderfully located house,
and the world was at my feet. Things couldn’t have been any better, or so it seemed. And everyone in my environment seemed to agree.
Except that one day, I found myself panicking at my office desk, my heart screaming out what I had been ignoring for too long a time. THAT I WAS GETTING IT ALL WRONG… Finally, I had to stop and admit that despite the perfect picture I was deeply unhappy, exhausted and more disconnected from myself than ever before. There I was, living the life that I had wanted for so long and worked so hard for. And none of it really resonated with me.
At that moment a realization came to me that still continues to shake my core on so many levels. What if don’t know best what my life should look like? Who am I to think that I would be a better architect of my life than the actual source that created it to begin with? And what if it aren’t the outside circumstances that are to determine my happiness?
At first, these thoughts frightened me more than anything ever had. If this was actually true, that would mean that I was not and would never be in control. Which was, in fact, my greatest fear.
But after the initial shock wore off, totally unexpected, a certain reassuring comfort came over me. It felt like I could finally stop holding my breath. If I was not going to “get it right” anyway, why put every fiber of myself into trying? By not needing to be in control all the time a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.
Somehow I sensed that I was being supported by some underlying force, that had always been there. It had just gone unnoticed for so long, patiently waiting for me to tap into it. Now the time was finally right. And totally unlike me, I did not even feel the need to know what or who this force consisted of. I dove in deep, head first.
I started to create more space, allowing for life to show ME what is next, not the other way around. Whereas the fear of letting go at times still makes me feel uncomfortable, it is proven to me over and over again that everything will always be completely alright. Even if everything seems to be falling apart and nothing goes according to plan, or better still: especially if things do not go according to plan! They are actually more magical and exciting if they are not picture perfect, even if we can’t see it at that moment.
I felt drawn to take a more holistic approach to my life, which means focusing more on nourishing my mind, body, and my soul, instead of letting my head play the leading role. And with that, a snowball effect started to kick in.
I picked up my yoga practice again, literally creating space within the framework of my body. I upgraded my plant-based diet to incorporate more soul foods that my cells were craving. I started devouring every single piece of literature on personal development I could get my hands on and attending seminars and workshops on spiritual subjects that tickled my spirit. I basically made taking loving care of myself a top priority. Every. Single. Day.
From that time on I have been noticing tiny little shifts taking place in my everyday life. Slowly but surely, the happiness I had been craving for is starting to find me. And when it does, it usually doesn’t look anything like the perfect picture I had been imagining my whole life.
I find that wherever I allow space to be, there will usually first be held back emotions and anxieties, needing to be seen and felt, and eventually those will somehow make way for the space to be filled with beautiful new things, like inspiration, creativity, ideas, and mostly: just plain contentment and appreciation.
Surrendering into the unknown continues to be the greatest relief I have ever experienced. And it is also the hardest to describe.
The best metaphor I have found so far is that it is like I am being fired by a catapult in super slow motion. For years I have been stretching myself into the “wrong” direction, the resistance building up more and more until, finally, I was able to start releasing the tension. The shedding of layers and layers of things that do not serve me anymore is launching me in the direction of space, light, freedom and peace. But all the years of strain weren’t wasted. In fact, they have been absolutely essential. I wasn’t failing, I was just aiming. And now I am ready to shoot out into the open space of endless possibilities, moving with the magic of the universe.
OK, now that’s intense. I told you.
So there, I am all about creating space. To grow, to inspire, to love, to celebrate, to nourish, to marvel and to just LIVE. And I intend to do just that here on this blog, so we can empower and support each other as we ride the waves of life like a surf goddess!
Care to join me? Sign up below and start loving your holista bum today.
Love and light,